Miss M

Someone? Anyone?

2009-01-15T19:51:00.003+01:00

Can someone please send me a Papa Johns pizza (preferably all the meats or supreme) and/or Chik-fil-a waffle fries with polynesian sauce and lg lemonade or sweet tea. 'Preciate it!

That is all

Is it really that serious?????

2009-01-06T23:15:00.002+01:00

Now this just makes me sick to my stomach. To want to cause harm (or death in this case) to your OWN child in order to save a couple of dollars...I'm speechless

Man Allegedly Kills Son to Avoid Paying Support
January 5th, 2009

A 22-year-old New Orleans man is accused of killing his toddler son because he was ordered to pay child support, The Associated Press reports. Danny Platt, who initially told police that men with guns had snatched his 2 ½ -year-old son, not only confessed but told investigators where to find the child’s body, according to Police Superintendent Warren Riley. “He had said he would kill either his wife or his child before he paid child support,” which he recently had been ordered to do, Riley said. Even though Platt had visiting rights, Riley said, he never visited little Ja’ Shawn Powell until Friday, the day he picked up the boy. Police said that they did not know the amount of the child support and that the official cause of death would be revealed after the autopsy was complete. “The mother is in a safe place,” Riley said. On Saturday, police put out a bulletin seeking three men with dreadlocks and AK-47 rifles, whom Platt said poured out of an SUV around midnight Friday and spirited his son away. “His story never really added up,” Riley said. “He was a suspect from the very beginning. …”How does an individual — because he’s ordered to pay child support to take care of a kid … believe that this is so much pressure that he would face — he would do this hideous act to his own child, or to any child, and think that is a remedy to paying child support? I mean there are some sick individuals in this society, and this gentleman is clearly one.”

Pig=mommy

2009-01-05T21:31:00.003+01:00

The cutest thing happened while I was playing with Nadia this weekend. She received the Little People Animal Sound Farm for Christmas and I was going over the names of the animals, making their sounds, and had Nadia repeat after me. We went over about 3 animals or so and she's trying her best to make the sounds (which also was cute and funny). So I get the the pig, pick it up and say "Pig...a pig goes oink, oink. Pig" and I put it down. I pick it up again and say "pig" and she looks me dead in my eyes and says "Mommy". All I could do was laugh. I couldn't play anymore after that. My sweet little baby thinks mommy looks like or is a pig. Okay...tell me what you really think Nadia. LOL These are the moments I live for. Kids really do and say the darndest things. Gotta love it!

Pityriasis Rosea

2009-01-03T16:20:00.002+01:00

This is what I have. I went to the dermatologist last week and it turns out I have Pityriasis Rosea. I really wasn't impressed with the dermatologist because it seemed everytime I had a question about my rashes relating to my pregnancy, he would just brush me off and said the two had nothing to do with eachother. Now when I was pregnant with Nadia I got the rash on my face, feet, and hands and now about 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant this time the rash appears and they are not related? After a while, I just wanted him to tell what I had and what (if anything) could be done to cure it. Turns out there is nothing that can be done. I just have to wait it out. It could take weeks to months to go away. He gave me something for the itching and offered me a pill to take but I passed on the pill once he told me there was no guarantee the rash would go away any sooner and that there was "no known evidence" that it would affect my pregnancy.
I guess the bright side is it's winter and my legs and arms are pretty much covered when I leave the house. Hopefully I won't have to play the waiting game too much longer and my skin with go back to normal...

Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T12:20:00.004+01:00

Wishing everyone a safe and Happy Holiday Season. I hope you all enjoy the fun, food, and time with family and friends!!!!

A message from Nadia

2008-12-16T17:50:00.001+01:00

Hello everyone!

I thought I'd give you all an update on what's happening in my house. My mommy brought me this t-shirt and insisted on taking pictures. She kept mumbling something about me definitely being my father's child because I kept giving her a hard time. I kept trying to tell her that pictures are not my thing and that I just wanted to play...she still wouldn't listen to me. *sigh*

Anyhoo, for some reason I feel like my life as I know it is about to be forever changed. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing (hence my expression in the picture). Even though my mommy seems extremely tired all the time, I can tell she's happy. My daddy's happy as well but he says that younger siblings can sometimes be a pain because they always follow you around and take all your toys. I just look at him because I have no idea what a "sibling" is and plus, I like to share my toys with my dogs. Hmmm...I wonder if siblings are like dogs.

Well, either way something big is supposed to happen on or around July 15th, 2009. Please pray for my mommy and daddy and this "sibling" thing and I will be sure to keep you all updated.

Love
Nadia

I'm Kenya McClanahan and I approve this message :)

I'm being attacked...

2008-12-14T15:57:00.002+01:00

And I have no clue where it is coming from. I have these red spots all over my legs, feet, thighs, arms, nose, and eyebrows. I think I have an idea of why my face and feet are breaking out but I'm not sure about the rest of my body. I first noticed it about 3 weeks ago and didn't think nothing of it because it wasn't bothering me and it was just tiny bumps. Since then, they've gone from tiny red bumps to thin, dark red bruises. I thought I had chicken pox, then I thought maybe we had bed bugs. Once Corey told me that he didn't have any marks I ruled out the bed bugs and I had the chicken pox when I was in elementary school so that was a no go. They don't itch or anything, it's just gross to look at. I would post pictures but I think it's disgusting looking. I get embarressed going out because I feel I look like I have some type of disease. I don't wear any make-up, so it's not like I could cover it up or anything.
I have an appointment on Tuesday and I'm hoping the doctor can give me something to clear up whatever it is I have. I'm also hoping that it's nothing serious. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Christmas cards

2008-12-03T11:57:00.000+01:00

When doing your holiday cards this year, send one to this address. If we pass
this on and everyone sends one card, think of how many cards these wonderful
special people who have sacrificed so much would get.

A Recovering American Soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue,NW
Washington , D.C. 20307-5001

The new addition

2008-11-28T21:15:00.003+01:00

We finally got another car. It's a 1991 Mini Mayfair. Well, I should say Corey got a car. My chances of driving it are slim to none. The reason being that it is just too dog-gone small. We jokingly call it his hotwheel. LOL I'm about 6 feet and Corey is
6'4 and he looks like a giant in this car. I mean, it's a cute little car, GREAT on gas, and gets from point A to B, but I feel a little claustrophobic in it. Corey has really gotten into this car. He plans to rebuild it and tinker with it over the years and maybe give it to Nadia when she's able to drive (oh wow, I can't even wrap my mind around my baby being 16 years old). We paid cash for it and had to dip into our savings more than I wanted to but it's a whole lot better than having another car note!
NO MORE GETTING UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN TO TAKE COREY TO WORK. Okay, I need to say it again...no more getting up at the crack of dawn to take Corey to work...Thank you JESUS. Haha It's not fun having to depend on someone else when I need stuff done.
Now if I can just figure out how to drive in the snow, I'll be set. Haha

This is the best we could do

2008-11-21T22:43:00.003+01:00

My sister and her children came to visit a couple of weeks ago and we decided to get pictures done. This was the FUNNIEST experience I have had in a long time. I know the photographer thought we were crazy and he was praying until the session was over. I knew it was going to be a little tricky getting Nadia and Josiah's (my youngest nephew) attention but I think the two older ones were the ones who didn't want to smile or didn't like the way they were positioned. Once we finished and we saw the proofs, this was the only picture where we all looked half-way decent. Getting a group picture was a lot harder than I thought. Some of the other pictures were just priceless (not necessarily in a good way). If they weren't so expensive, we would have gotten the "crazy ones" just so we could pull out whenever we need a good laugh. I mean, the facial expressions children can give. I'm sure all of our friends and family will love it no matter what we look like. Oh, the memories...

History has been made!

2008-11-05T07:09:00.004+01:00

I can not believe it. I hoped it. I wished it. I prayed for it. But I still had my doubts. Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States of America. As I listened to his speech, I thought about how many people have fought for this. I thought back to when women and minorities were not allowed to vote. I thought about how my great-grandparents and grandparents would be/are proud of this very moment. I am deeply moved. The emotions that I feel right now...I really can't explain it. It's one of the moments that I will NEVER forget and I am so proud to be a part of.
I have and will continue to pray that God gives him the strength and guidance he needs to run this country and that He continues to protect him and his family. President Barack Obama...music to my ears.

My Little Monkey

2008-10-31T21:37:00.011+01:00

We took Nadia trick-or-treating and we (atleast I did) had a ball. Again, the little kid in me came out and I was smiling just as big as some of the little children. The only thing I didn't like about the whole ordeal was how the older kids would practically knock down the younger kids and their parents not reprimand them. First, we took Nadia to get her picture taken and then we went to the Youth Center for, what we thought was a party for the younger kids. The games and toys were geared toward older children so we only stayed about 10 minutes. Nadia could care less...they had a DJ and she was trying to get her dance on. I'm trying to figure out how to download the video to my computer but as soon as I do, I'll post it.
After we left the youth center, we decided to take her around base housing for some candy. I think after the first house, she was over it. There were so many people that she kept getting side tracked. She was more interested in playing in the grass than going door to door to get candy. It was actually pretty funny. We also got to take a picture with Mcgruff the crime dog. In the pictures she was looking at him like "what the heck are you?!" I think we walked about 2-3 miles tonight. It was worth it though...even though my baby had NO clue what was going on. LOL

random pictures

2008-10-22T12:15:00.005+02:00

I thought I would post some pictures of my baby. I'm making a 2009 calendar for myself and Corey and wanted to share some of the pictures. I'm not a photographer by any means but I think these are really cute...maybe it's the GORGEOUS subject. :)

Duh

2008-10-17T15:51:00.002+02:00

Our cable has been out all week. We were told that the system would be out on certain days for about 30 minutes or so. Once we got the signal back, there was no volume. We would get the picture but we couldn't hear anything. Then the next day the volume returned but we weren't getting a picture. At first it was no big deal because our TV is usually on for background noise. I know, we could save a whole lot of money by simply turning the tv off but for whatever reason we don't...I'm working on that.
By the third day, I figured Nadia had done something to the TV since she likes to push the buttons on the remote. So I start trying to fix the TV. Nothing I do works and I'm not technologically savvy. Corey insists that the system is still down but of course I think it's just the television. I beg Corey to call the cable hotline and they work with Corey. Come to find out that all we needed to do was unplug and plug the tv back in. Simple as that. We felt really stupid after that phone call.
The more I think, I get a good chuckle. From now on that will be the first thing I do before I make any phone calls. And to think, I put all the blame on my baby.

It's about that time

2008-10-10T21:00:00.003+02:00

MUST. GET. ANOTHER. CAR. This is really starting to get old. I'm either stuck at home during the day or I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn to take Corey to work. At first getting up wasn't that bad because I could just come home and go back to sleep...that is, if Nadia let me. lol But since I've been doing strollerobics, it makes more sense to just stay on base since we live about 20 minutes away. Corey gets dropped off around 6:30 and the class doesn't start until 9. We already fill our gas tank up about every 10 days or so, so in order to save on gas I go to the gym and sit in the parking lot and read. Then I do my work out, take care of any errands that I may have, come home, do the mommy thing, then go back to pick up Corey at five. Lately he hasn't been getting off until later, so again, Nadia and I will sit in the car until he gets off. It was okay during the summer but now that it's getting cold I hate just sitting in the car risking Nadia and I getting sick.

Corey doesn't like being with out a car either. He feels bad asking for rides to and from PT (if it's at the gym) and he hates that his supervisor can't depend on him on certain days to go to another shop for supplies or something. We have somewhat worked out a schedule on who gets the car when but I'm always thinking about the "what ifs". What if something happens to Nadia on the day that Corey has the car? What if Corey finds out last minute that he has a meeting to go to and I have the car?

I think we are gonna get something reasonable...just to get us from point A to point B. I HATE the idea of having two car payments but I don't want to spend money on an older car and then it turn out to be a piece of crap. I guess we'll look until we find something we can agree on...

Wow...

2008-10-08T16:35:00.003+02:00

7th-Grade Teacher to Students: Obama is a ‘N’-Word
October 8th, 2008

7th-Grade teacher to students: Obama is a ‘N’-word. Angry parents in the northwest Florida community of Marianna want a middle school teacher fired after he put the “N”-word on the board to describe Democratic presidential nominee Sen. Barack Obama. The Marianna Middle School teacher, Greg Howard, is now serving a 10-day suspension after writing an acronym on the dry-erase board on Sept. 26: “C.H.A.N.G.E. - Come Help A N*gg*r Get Elected.” But many parents want the 17-year teacher fired. The seventh-grade social studies teacher’s class has 17 White students, six Black students and one Asian student. Initially he was suspended for the day without pay, but that was elevated to the 10-day punishment. He must also write a letter of apology to students. “We feel like the punishment is sufficient,” Larry Moore, superintendent of the Jackson County School District, told The Detroit Free Press. “We did not feel he had to be fired.” NAACP officials say they will reserve their actions in the case until their investigation is complete. Audrey Wad, who has nieces and nephews at the school, didn’t need any more information before expressing her outrage. “To me, it’s hurtful,” she told the Free Press. “The idea that he would impose his political opinion on the children is wrong to me. That’s where he crossed the line

I don't understand how he could not be fired and only get a 10-day suspension. I'm speechless. Again, wow.

So far, so good

2008-09-27T22:13:00.003+02:00

Nadia has been sleeping in her crib at night for the past week. YAY! We were having the hardest time getting her to sleep in her crib. It's crazy because she doesn't have a problem taking her naps but it's only at night that she would scream. We tried crying it out and Corey and I don't have the heart for that. I mean, we could handle the whining but when she would start screaming to the point where she would choke herself we couldn't take it. So for the past couple of months or so, she has been sleeping with us. We wouldn't even try to put her in her crib.
When we took her to her year appt. the doctor kinda made me feel bad when I told him that she was sleeping with us. He basically told me that I was weak and that Corey needed to be the one to put her to bed. Thanks for the word of encouragement. So being a first time mom, I starting thinking that maybe the doctor was right. Not that I'm weak but maybe she does need to start sleeping in her own bed. I really didn't have a problem with her sleeping with us but I figured that it will be easier getting her to sleep in her room now than if we started trying later. Well, so far it has worked. Granite, I do have sit in her room for about an hour before she falls asleep but atleast I don't have to deal with the screaming. Hey, we gotta start somewhere.

It's a conspiracy

2008-09-24T16:21:00.002+02:00

The USPS doesn't want me to go back to school. I've mailed reference letters out three times, yes, three times and finally after express mailing them they have been received. My transcripts were sent out Aug. 19 and 21 and they still haven't reached University of Maryland. I've applied for financial aid but my application can't process until the school has officially accepted me. I can't be officially accepted until all my paperwork is complete (reference letters and transcripts). I've called and called and called and all I can do now is wait. I was told by the financial aid office that my application will be closed down if the paperwork isn't received ASAP. Well, what else do they want me to do? I can't make the paperwork get to the school any faster. Now I'm worried that it's going to take forever for my reference letters to get to the school once they are mailed. I was planning on starting in October but now I guess I'll have to wait until January. Stupid post office.

I've got the fever

2008-09-18T15:03:00.003+02:00

Baby fever that is. I've been feeling this way for a couple of months and I think it has really hit me hard. Corey doesn't care one way or the other if we have any more children but he did remind me of the fact that he and I are both getting up there and he doesn't want to be an old dad.
What's really crazy is that I desperately want to have twins-boy/girl. I've always pictured myself with three children but I only want to go through one more pregnancy. I would LOVE to adopt an older child (preteen) but Corey's not sure he could handle it. So twins seem to be the only answer. I'm putting it out there and "speaking it into existence" as my mom would say. Of course I would be just as happy if I got pregnant with one child.
Hopefully next summer sometime I will be holding my beautiful babies for the very first time. Wish us luck!

He really does work...

2008-09-17T15:05:00.003+02:00

And sometimes hard. Last night Corey's squadron had sort of an open house where family members could go and voice any concerns, questions and/or comment on anything that has been going on (good or bad). Afterwards, we were given a tour of his shop.I was pretty impressed. My eyes were really opened and I think I owe Corey an apology.

Since moving to Germany, Corey has been pretty much the "go-to-guy" when something needs to be done. He'll sometimes come home starving because he was in a meeting during lunch time and didn't get a chance to eat. Someone from his job will call him in the evenings looking for answers to a problem. Me being me, always asks "So, why are they calling you? You just got here. You don't know everything". And he'll jokingly say "Cuz I run things round these parts" or something to that affect.

Last night I got to see what he does and see that he really is in charge of a lot of things that go on in his shop. For some reason, I was really proud of him. I wanted to stick my chest out and say "yeah, that's MY man". LOL

Going to the open house has opened my eyes in a lot of ways. I mean, I know he is sacrificing a lot by being in the military but I will no longer take that for granted. A big standing ovations for all the men and women of the Armed Forces for risking their lives to keep us safe.

It's good to be home

2008-09-10T12:31:00.008+02:00

Nadia and I spent last week in England visiting my sister and her family. Despite Nadia getting sick, we had a blast as the Hall family is very entertaining...I swear they need their own reality show. There were a couple of days where I laughed until I cried, my stomach burning from the pain. It was really good being around family, (it's still a little hard not being close to family and good friends) sitting around doing nothing. My sister and her husband still went to work and the kids went to school and daycare, so Nadie and I chilled during the day and counted down until the "clan" got home.

I was lucky enough to take my five year old nephew to the bus stop each morning and be there when he got off. It was kind of sad putting him on the bus the first day of school. All the other mothers were crying and taking pictures and then it started to to affect me as well. Last year he went to a British school and some of the kids gave him a really hard time about him being black and American. I mean, it was to the point that he didn't like being black anymore and he didn't like going places where there were "too many white people". This year, after only being in an American school for a week, he's getting his confidence back. Saturday he went to get a hair cut and he came home with a mohawk. It really looked cute on him and I was just happy that he felt that he was able to express himself without thinking what others will think of him.

I was also able to go out to a club for the first time in about 6 or 7 years. Yeah, it's really been that long...and I really wasn't missing much. What is it with some females going to clubs naked? I was thinking back to my club hopping days and I don't remember it being like this. I mean, we wore somewhat revealing clothing but these girls (young and old) were leaving NOTHING to the imagination. I felt both old and overdressed. Nontheless, I had a good time despite leaving my baby with my brother-in-law for the first time. I had to take a moment to myself at the club and cry and then it was PARTY TIME. Haha

Spending time with my twin sister is something that I always look forward to. We laughed, vented to eachother, and was just in awe that we both have our own little families. Growing up, I didn't like being a twin because we were always looked at as being one instead of individuals. Now I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING in this world. I love her to peices!!! It's crazy now, because I hope to one day have twins.

Although I miss my sister and her family dearly, it's good to be back in my own home and sleeping in my own bed. Now I must do some serious cleaning...what was I thinking leaving a man home alone for a week and expecting the house to be sparkling clean when I returned? :)

Let's try this again

2008-08-27T21:21:00.004+02:00

here's the link for viewing full size. my blog doesn't give it enough room, and cuts some off.

My Montage 8/26/08

My baby is gone

2008-08-26T23:41:00.001+02:00

Here is a montage I did for my baby's first year. It took me forever because I couldn't decide what pictures to use. Each and every picture takes me back to the day I took them. I'm so blessed to be a mommy and I'm more blessed to be Nadia Siobhan's mommy.
Although I'm sad that my baby is growing up, I look forward to watching her grow into a toddler, little girl, teenager, young lady, and a woman. She makes me so proud.
Now go get some tissue and enjoy!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I'm in denial

2008-08-19T19:12:00.004+02:00

My baby will be one in exactly 8 days. She is starting to get presents in the mail and it's like time as gotten away from me. At first, we (the three of us) were planning on just going to the zoo, open her presents, and eat cake. Now I want to decorate the house and have a small get together. I don't know if I'm in denial because none of our family will be here to help her celebrate or just the simple fact that I'm not ready for her to grow up. My precious is turning one! What am I going to do? How am I going to get through this? I asked my mom how mothers do it and this is what she told me,

"You look at their pictures to hold onto them being little and dependent on you and then you

smile at what they have become! You let them crawl into your lap/bed even as teenagers

when they work your next to last nerve; you cry at their weddings, your cry when they

move away, you cry when they move away with your grandchildren-I guess tears are the

cleaning mechanism."

I cried when she first told me that and I'm getting teary eyed typing it. I can only imagine what I will be like on August 27. I must go now and cuddle with my little, big girl.

Our fun weekend

2008-08-18T16:31:00.014+02:00

We went to a pig roast Saturday and Nadia had a blast. It was in a town called Wittlich, about an hour north of here near Trier. The story goes that the gate guard lost the iron pin to keep the gate closed, so he used a carrot to secure the gate. A pig ate the carrot, the gate came open, and the enemy ransacked the town. Afterward, they (the towns people)gathered up all the pigs and roasted them. So annually, they have a pig roast in honor of this tradition.

There was also a parade and carnival. Nadia went on a merry-go-round, a Ferris wheel, and she road a horse. I was one proud momma. She wasn't too sure of the horse but she rode it anyway. All in all, we had a great time, and the pig was delicious.

Sunday was a BEAUTIFUL day so we decided to put Nadie in her little pool. Of course she loved it and she cried when we put it up. Corey swears she is going to beat Michael Phelps' record in swimming. lol His expectations are soo high...poor child.

The longest 5 minutes of my life.

2008-08-13T14:38:00.002+02:00

I locked myself out of the house with Nadia inside. I had just put her in her high chair and given her her bottle. I don't strap her in any longer because she knows how to get out of it. She has figured out that she can stand up in her high chair so we usually sit in front of her while she's eating.
It's garbage day and I hear the truck outside getting our trash. Without thinking I run outside to put the garbage can up. I don't think to unlock the door. I don't think to grab my keys. I don't think to put Nadia on the floor. I just get up and go. As soon as I remember that the door is locked, it shuts. I immediately start to panic. I run to the back door. Locked. I run to the basement door. Locked as well. Thankfully our landlords lives right behind us. The only problem is that they don't speak English and I don't speak German. We normally communicate through their son and he's hardly home.
I knock on the door and the daughter answers and I ask for Jacob (the son) and she shakes her head. I ask if they have an extra key to the house and she looks at me for a moment and then shrugs her shoulders. As I'm walking back I see the dad. I run to him and start motioning with my hand keys starting a car. He points to the car and I say "No. House". I walk him to the door and show him it is locked. He says "Baby?" and I point inside the house. At this point I think he can tell I'm panicking and he runs to the house. He comes back with a young boy and a ladder. I'm just praying to myself that Nadia hasn't decided to stand up and I'm imagining the worst. I look inside the window but I can't see anything. I don't hear her crying which lets me know she is okay. The young boy climbs to the window upstairs and somehow manages to get inside. I thank them about a million times (which is one of the few things I know how to say in German) and run inside. Of course Nadia is looking at me like I'm crazy when I pick her up. The father jokingly pats his pants pocket and does the key sign as to say "Keep your keys in your pocket". Lesson learned!

Strollerobics is the devil!!!

2008-08-11T16:34:00.006+02:00

In my billionth attempt to get in shape, I enrolled in strollerobics. It's one hour, twice a week for 6 weeks. I'm in so much pain, I don't even know what to do. I'm talking sprints, lunges, sit-ups, push-up, leg lifts, squats, suicides and all other kinds of running exercises all while pushing a stroller (minus the sit-up and push-ups). The instructor really pushes me to the point that I just want to yell at her. But I guess that's her job. And when I think about it, I really need someone to push me no matter how much she gets on my nerves. I didn't think it was going to be so intense, especially with me being a beginner. We even worked out in the rain! Now you know I wasn't too happy about that. I have muscles hurting that I didn't even know I had. Plus, I'm still riding my bike and we try to ride for about 30 minutes a night. I guess it really is true- No pain, No gain. Nadia gets a kick out of watching me struggle and sweat like a pig. Hopefully soon, the soreness will subside and I will actually look forward to going to class. For some reason that really made me laugh. LOL

It was a good day

2008-08-05T15:20:00.001+02:00

I woke up to breakfast in bed and Nadia taken care of. It must have been a special occasion. And it was...my birthday. Yep, I'm 32 years old. Corey baked me a carrot cake (my favorite) and he got me a bicycle with a child's seat. Then we kinda just drove around Germany (this area anyways). Later that night we went riding. I haven't rode a bike since I was in middle school and I'm feeling it. My thighs are on fire! Nadia didn't like the helmet at first but once we started riding she got used to it.

Here's the carrot cake that Corey made for me. He tortured me by making it on Sunday and told me I couldn't have any until Monday. That cake was calling my name but I respected his wishes and wanted until Monday night. YUMMY!! Now the hard part is not eating it all in one weeks time.

Also my niece and nephews sent me a birthday card. They sent me the same card that I sent to my twin from Nadia. Last year we got the same card for each other and a couple of years ago we sent out the same Christmas cards. It's funny how that happens. I guess great minds do think alike. :) When I called them to thank them for the card, Jada responded, "What card? I didn't get you a birthday card". She really speaks her mind. She's only three years old but I don't think she is gonna let anyone run over her. They make being an aunt the next best thing to being a mommy!

I was trying to find a picture of my sister and I together but I don't have any recent ones. I guess we are always the ones behind the camera. Here are some pictures of us when we were younger.

All in all, it was a very good day. I look forward to celebrating many, many more!

I've made a decision

2008-08-02T20:17:00.003+02:00

I've made up my mind that I'm going to go back to school to get my Masters. I've been debating whether I should work or go to school and after a talk with my husband and some much needed soul searching my decision has been made. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I'm going to the education office on Monday to find out what all I need to do. I probably won't start until January 09 but now I have something to look forward to. I''ll probably start off as part-time and work my way towards being a full-time student. By then I should be over my "attachment issues" with Nadia. lol Hopefully I can manage the task of being a wife, mom, student and still get my "me time". I'm also hoping that I can get as much financial aide (grants/scholarships) as possible. I managed to get done with my Bachelors with only owing $5000 and I'm praying I'll do the same with my Masters. I'm so happy about this new direction my life is about to take.

I'm just trying to help

2008-07-30T19:41:00.002+02:00

It has been bothering me for the past 10 years and there is really nothing I can do about it. I just sit by and wait...and wait...and wait. I used to tell myself that I wouldn't be in this situation if I'd just kept my word, "I'm not going to...until you...". Before I knew it, I was doing the very thing that I said I wouldn't do with out my request being fullfilled. I had accepted it and moved on hoping that the situation would get resolved but I never would have thought 10 years later I would still be making the same request.
It's in my blood. I feel like I have to do something about it...but what really? I can make phone calls, but what would I say? Would I make the situation worse? I've done all that I know to do. I've said all that I know to say. So why can't I just leave it at that? I keep telling myself that it really doesn't involve me...atleast not directly. But it involves people that I love and care about. Maybe I'm just trying to help someone that doesn't want to be helped...or just doesn't want my help. That's it! Lesson learned. I can't helped those that aren't willing to helped to help themselves.
Now I'll just go back to doing one of the hardest things for me to do. Wait...and wait...and wait...

She did it!!

2008-07-29T17:22:00.003+02:00

She signed milk. Corey and I were watching a movie (yes...it's our nightly thing since AFN sucks) and Corey says, "She signed milk. She wants some milk". Of course I'm skeptical so I continue to watch the movie. I notice the time and it is about the time for her to have her last bottle of the day. So I asked Corey if she really did it and for some reason I get this big, silly grin on my face. I sign/say to Nadia "Do you want milk?" and she looks at me as to say, "Yes...why teach me if you're not going to respond" then she signed milk again. I run to the kitchen, still smiling, and get her bottle ready. Then I decide to put it in a sippy cup. We've been giving her water from a sippy cup and she'll only drink about 2 ounces. I've tried giving her milk in a sippy cup but she doesn't want to have anything to do with it. I figured since she wanted milk, it wouldn't hurt to try a sippy cup and she drank it. She drank the milk from the sippy cup!! She signed milk and then drank it from a sippy cup. I'm cheesing as I write this. I didn't think I would get this excited once she started signing. Half the time when I'm signing to her she looks at me like I'm crazy. She just makes me so proud. I just love watching her accomplishments as little as they may be. Yay Nadia!!!

These are my confessions

2008-07-24T16:11:00.002+02:00

As I aspire to be the best mom I can be, I'm finding out things don't always go as planned. I often end my day thinking "Oops, I forgot to do..." or "I should have done this instead of that". I'm sure I'm not the first (or the last) parent to have confessions but here are a few of mine. Okay, here it goes-

Some days (mostly on weekends) I'll leave Nadia in her pajamas all day
I sometimes forget to brush her teeth before she goes to bed (she has her two bottom teeth)
On Nadia's fussy days (which are few) I catch myself counting down until Corey comes home
I have put in a Baby Einstein DVD just so I can take a shower or get things done
I can't stand to hear her cry, so I put her in the bed with me and Corey at night
She doesn't have a lot of toys because I don't like character toys (Elmo, Dora...)
I haven't taken her for a walk around the neighborhood in a while
I have let her sleep an extra 30 minutes during nap time because I'm enjoying my "me time"

I know these aren't life threatening issues but sometimes I feel bad for forgetting to brush her teeth every night or wishing Corey could leave his job so I could get a break. I'm only human. I'm still learning the tricks and trades of being a mom and I'm sure as time goes on, more will be added to the list. As much as I try to think that I'm the "perfect mom" I have no shame in admitting that I'm not.

What if?

2008-07-19T15:21:00.003+02:00

July 19, 2005 was my expected due date. I often wonder what I would have had, who he or she would have looked like, what name would we have decided on...ect. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I found out I was pregnant on November 10, 2004. I had been trying to get pregnant for almost a year and it finally happened. I was on cloud nine. I immediately called everyone I knew to share my good news. My sister was about to give birth to her little girl and I was so excited that our children would be close in age and I just knew that they would be the best of cousins.
Monday, November 22 was like any other day. We were getting ready for our trip to TN for Thanksgiving. I went to class, got my hair done, washed clothes, and started to pack. I go to the rest room and noticed blood. I panic and call my sister. She tells me not to worry but to go to the hospital just to be safe. I call Corey at work and tell him what is going on. At this point, I think I'm pretty calm but I'm worried. We see the doctor (Dr. Payne of all names) and he has absolutely no bedside manner at all. I just remember crying when he walked in the room after checking me out because in my heart I knew what was happening. I began begging God to let me have this baby. I mean, He is God. He can perform miracles and I desperately needed him to make this happen.
We go home and I call my mom, dad, and sister. Of course, they don't know what to say but tell me they are there for me even if it's just to listen while I vent and cry. I think I pleaded with God for the next month or so. I was in denial. I bargained with God. I became angry. I mean, I worked in an environment where women (in my opinion) didn't have any business having any children. But they were having children left and right and getting them taken away. All I wanted was just one child and I couldn't even get that. Everyone told me things like "you're young, you will get pregnant again" and "everything happens for a reason" but I didn't want another baby. I wanted this baby.
My baby would probably be turning three today. November 10, 12, and July 19 will forever be special to me. I will never forgot those days and I will probably always think of the what ifs. I didn't think I was going to make it through. I didn't think I would be able to get through another pregnancy without making myself sick from worrying. But THANK GOD that I did. I look at my little girl now and I'm SOO grateful for her. I have so much love for her it is ridiculous. I remember going to the emergency room while I was in training in Atlanta (I was about 2 months pregnant then) because I was in so much pain and I was spotting. My mom went with me to the hospital (she just happened to be in Atlanta for an AKA convention...isn't it amazing how God worked that out?) and I'm trying my best to not worry, scream and/or cry. I immediately think the worse and start preparing myself for going through yet another miscarriage. I go to the bathroom to calm myself down and on my way back to the waiting room I feel a peace come over me. I can't explain it but all my worries and fears vanished. I remember smiling when I saw my mom. I had an ultrasound and Nadia (didn't have a name or know the sex at this time) is having a good ole time doing flips and everything.
Sometimes I still wish I never had a miscarriage but I've accepted it. God and the prayers of friends and family helped me get through it. And I'm thankful EVERYDAY that I have Nadia.

What's the difference?

2008-07-17T18:11:00.003+02:00

I just don't get it. How come a baby's rolls are just soo cute but rolls on 31 year old who stands about 5 foot 11 inches aren't. I mean, I kiss, pinch, and smile at Nadia rolls and then I walk away and get a quick glimpse of myself and I'm not thrilled at all. So what if I don't exercise or eat like I'm supposed to. Neither does Nadia. She can eat until she gets full and the doctors will say, "She's a healthy, growing little girl". It's just not fair. It has to work both ways. If it is cute on her it is cute on me....right? Now I must go eat me some fried chicken fingers, french fries and maybe some chocolate cookies. And I'm gonna top if off with a diet coke...lol

Ask and you shall receive

2008-07-15T15:22:00.003+02:00

Last night my husband and I had finished watching a movie and eating dinner. As I'm thinking of all the things I need to do before I get ready for bed, I say to Nadie, "Ask daddy if he will wash the dishes for mommy". Nadie says something in her own language... either "girl you know he isn't gonna wash those dishes" or "daddy, if you wash the dishes for mommy I won't give you any problems at bedtime". Corey looks at me and I can see the wheels turning in his head.

A little background... Corey HATES to do the dishes. Putting them in the dishwasher is his only option. I don't think I have ever seen him hand wash dishes. I, on the other hand, can not stand for dishes to be washed in the dishwasher. I just don't think they get clean enough. I guess I suffer from a mild case of OCD.

Anyhoo, our dishwasher doesn't work and Corey knows he will have to hand wash them. I had asked Corey a couple of weeks ago if he would wash them for me and he said no...well I didn't ask him I stated "don't you want to wash the dishes for me" and that's when he said no. Of course I get mad and try not to break every dish as I'm washing them. Then something said, "you didn't ask him to wash them for you, you asked him if he wanted to wash them. You knew the answer to that before you even asked the question".

I start to get Nadie ready for bed and Corey goes in the kitchen and starts WASHING THE DISHES. Yes he washed the dishes by hand and I only had to ask him once. It's the little things like this that remind me why I love this man so much. He doesn't have to buy me a dozen roses or spend all of his money on me. I'm simple...just help me around the house and I'm good. Needless to say, I went to bed a happy woman. Now, if I can just get him to change a few more dirty diapers...

What to do???

2008-07-11T20:52:00.002+02:00

Well, my little girl will be turning one soon. While I was pregnant, I always said that I wasn't going to work until she was atleast 18 months. We've since moved to Germany thus loosing friends, family, coworkers...my support system. We were only allowed to ship one car, therefore leaving me without a car all day or waking up at the butt crack of dawn to take my husband to work (for some reason he thinks he has to be the VERY first person at his job).
So here's my dilemma. I"m soo ready to go back to work but I'm still not ready to leave my daughter with someone else. I'm ready to meet people and have some adult time. And since I'm not one to go out of my way to meet people (I'm somewhat quiet), getting a job is the easiest way for me to meet people. I realize that many women don't have the option of being a stay at home mom and I'm thankful to my husband for being the sole provider right now without complaint.
I was thinking I could start off slow by getting a part-time job just to see how that goes. I've been going to a baby sign language class and Nadie does WONDERFUL. It's like I don't exist until she gets tired and that's when she realizes that I'm there also. So I think she will be fine in someone else's care, I'm not fine with her being in someone else's care. Am I being selfish? I'm not sure I'll ever be able to leave her with someone (other than family and close friends) but I know it will have to be done eventually...for her sake and mine.